A Mother of the Bride Dress Guide: Fit, Color and Timing

The mother of the bride is in almost every photo of the day. Getting ready, walking down the aisle, the first dance with family, the cake. She’s standing for hours, hugging people, sitting down to eat, getting up to dance with the groom’s uncle.

So the dress has to do two jobs. It has to look beautiful, and it has to be comfortable from 2 in the afternoon until midnight. In my experience the second part is the one people forget.

Start with the couple

Before you shop, ask your daughter (or son) a few questions. What colors are the bridesmaids wearing? How formal is the wedding? Is there anything they’d rather you didn’t wear?

It’s also kind to talk with the other mother. You don’t need to match, but it’s nice if you don’t clash, and nobody wants to show up in the same dress.

Choosing a color

Most mothers pick a shade that goes with the wedding colors without copying the bridesmaids. Navy, champagne, blush, dusty blue, emerald, soft gold and silver all photograph beautifully. Navy is one of my favorites. It’s elegant, it works in every season, and it looks good on almost everyone.

The one rule: stay away from white, ivory and anything that could look white in a photo. That color belongs to the bride.

Black used to be avoided at weddings. Today many families don’t mind it, especially at an evening wedding. If you love it, just ask the couple first.

Fit is everything

This is where I can help the most. A dress off the rack is cut for a standard body. Very few women are a standard size in the bust, waist and hips at the same time. So the dress fits in one place and pulls or gapes in another.

A few things I pay attention to with mothers of the bride:

• Sleeves. Many women want their arms covered. Sleeves can be added to a sleeveless dress, or a matching jacket or bolero can be made.
• Sitting. I ask you to sit down in the dress at the fitting. If it’s tight when you sit, it’ll be uncomfortable at dinner.
• Length. Floor length or tea length, the hem is set to your shoes. Bring the real ones.
• Support. Cups or a built-in structure can be added so you don’t worry about straps all night.

Buy, alter, or make it custom?

Buying and altering works well if you find a dress you love that’s close to your size. Plan to buy it 3 to 6 months before the wedding, so there is time to shop and still leave around 6 weeks for alterations.

A custom gown makes sense if you can’t find what you’re picturing, or you’re tired of dresses that fit nowhere. A custom gown at my studio takes about 8 weeks and starts at $800. We sketch it together, I make a prototype so you can see it on, and then I make it in the fabric you choose, to your measurements.

The same goes for the mother of the groom

Everything here applies to her too, and to grandmothers, aunts and anyone else standing up front. You’re part of the day. You should feel wonderful in what you’re wearing.

Quick answers

When should the mother of the bride buy her dress?

If you’re buying off the rack, aim for 3 to 6 months before the wedding so there’s time to shop and still leave around 6 weeks for alterations. A custom gown takes about 8 weeks to make.

What color should the mother of the bride wear?

Talk to the couple first. Many mothers choose a shade that complements the wedding palette, like navy, champagne, blush or a soft metallic, and avoid anything close to the bride's white or ivory.

Can you alter a mother of the bride dress I bought online?

Yes. We alter women's clothing from anywhere. Bring the dress with the shoes and undergarments you'll wear and we'll pin it to fit.